


Dead Grandma: A Meet-Cute

by EternallyEC



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluff, Jori - Freeform, Meet-Cute, Weirdest Meet-Cute Ever?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC
Summary: Who would have thought you could meet the love of your life while planning a funeral for the grandmother you never really knew?Based on a Tumblr post that I took as a personal challenge.
Relationships: Tori Vega/Jade West
Comments: 7
Kudos: 97





	Dead Grandma: A Meet-Cute

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrettyLittlePoutyMouth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyLittlePoutyMouth/gifts).



> This was written for a dear friend of mine's birthday a few months ago, but I just got the urge to take another look at it tonight and ended up writing up a storm. Enjoy! 
> 
> (Also, the title is a play on the song from Beetlejuice the musical called _Dead Mom_. It popped into my head, I laughed, and that's good enough for me.)

Tori Vega felt awful. 

It had been only five days since her grandmother had died and, despite the fact that she’d hardly seen her growing up or even as an adult, she felt bad that she didn’t feel all that bad about it. And she felt even worse that she couldn’t even keep her mind on the things the funeral home director was telling her, hardly able to take her eyes off of the gorgeous, raven-haired woman even as she pointed at a coffin. 

_Oh, she was so going to hell if there was one._

“Ms. Vega? Did you hear me?” 

_Shit._

“I’m sorry, what?” Tori asked, hoping she didn’t sound too dazed as she did her best to feign sadness. “I was just thinking about Grandma,” she sighed, sniffling for good effect. She was _pretty_ sure that she saw a glimmer of disbelief and perhaps even _amusement_ in pretty emerald eyes, but it disappeared too quickly for her to be certain. 

“That’s alright,” she said, patting Tori’s shoulder rather patronizingly. _Okay, she definitely hadn’t been fooled._ “I was asking if you knew anything about her wishes with the coffin.” 

“Oh, um, not really,” Tori stammered out, blushing slightly when the other woman-- _Jade, that was her name; like the stone--_ let her hand linger for just a few seconds longer than necessary before drawing it back. “How much did you say this one was?” she asked, laying her palm flat on the coffin beside her. 

“$1,200,” Jade said calmly. “It’s one of the cheapest we have. I’m supposed to try to upsell you, but frankly, they’re all going into the ground anyway,” she smirked, seeming to greatly enjoy Tori’s shock as her mouth dropped open. “What? It’s obvious you don’t really care,” she shrugged. “You’ve been staring at me and not listening to a word I’ve said since you got here. Let me guess, dead grandma you never knew and you got stuck with the planning?” 

Tori groaned, covering her face with her hand. “That obvious, huh?” she asked, keeping her face hidden as she was flooded with embarrassment. 

Chuckling, the other woman gently took her wrist and pulled her hand away from her face. “You know that dating the mortician doesn’t get you a discount, right?” she asked with a chuckle.

Blushing furiously, Tori’s mouth worked soundlessly for a second and she was almost certain that her heart stopped for a minute. “I haven’t even asked you out,” she blurted out without thinking. _Good job, Tori, way to go!_

“You didn’t have to with the way you’ve been staring at me since you got here,” she retorted, amusement coloring her tone. “And just so you know, you’re a terrible liar. You can pick me up at eight,” she added with a smirk, raising a pierced eyebrow. “I’ll be here.” 

“O--okay,” Tori stuttered, unable to believe her luck. But, as much as she was enjoying the shameless flirting, she wasn’t about to let Jade have the upper hand so easily. “But we’re going out for sushi and you’re paying since I don’t get a discount.” 

Jade’s smirk turned into a grin and Tori felt like she’d passed some sort of test when she nodded. “Sushi works,” she told her. “But I don’t mix business with pleasure,” she said, turning back to the coffins and starting to talk again. 

And this time, Tori was able to listen despite the way her mind was racing, already imagining what going on a date with this woman would feel like.

After picking out the coffin that Jade had suggested and making a few more decisions and purchases, she headed home to get ready for the date. 

She rushed just a little and returned to the funeral home ten minutes early, grinning when she found Jade waiting outside. She found herself nearly unable to speak as the woman climbed into her car, her very short dress revealing a flash of thigh that made Tori blush and look away quickly, but not quickly enough to miss the triumphant smirk on her face when she caught her. 

“You clean up nice,” Jade observed, closing the door and putting on her seatbelt, never taking her eyes off Tori as she did. 

“So do you,” Tori managed to return, though it was a little squeaky and the shiteating grin Jade was wearing grew even bigger. “So, Nozu’s?” 

“It’s the best sushi place in the area,” Jade agreed, and Tori almost would have wondered if she was having any effect on the other woman at all if not for the way she kept seeing her eyes linger on her legs, exposed as they were by her fairly short dress. 

They arrived at the restaurant in record time, and it was Tori’s turn to smirk when she climbed out of the car and turned around just in time to catch Jade jerking her eyes away a fraction of a second too late to avoid Tori realizing that she’d been checking out her ass. 

“So, why the funeral home?” Tori asked once they’d settled in and dispensed with the small talk. 

“What do you mean?” Jade asked, raising an eyebrow as she took another bite. 

“Why did I pick you up there?” she clarified, taking a sip of her drink. 

“Oh, I live in the building,” she said with a casual shrug. “It’s separated inside, but it made more sense than trying to pay rent for two places when I was starting out and had no idea if it would become anything.” 

“That makes sense,” Tori nodded, though she couldn’t suppress a shiver. 

“What? Spill it,” Jade demanded when Tori shook her head, trying to shake her off. “You’re a terrible liar, remember?” 

“Well,” Tori said, drawing the last syllable out reluctantly, “I was just thinking… Don’t you ever get scared?” 

“You mean because it’s a funeral home?” Jade scoffed. “The dead don’t scare me, Tori. That’s the living’s job.” 

Tori blushed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, that was rude,” she said, feeling embarrassed for having even mentioned it. 

But apparently Jade had chosen to take pity on her, because she gently bumped shoulders with her and shot her a grin. “You’re not the first person to think that. Don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you,” she winked. “I won’t ask you to stay over or anything if it freaks you out either.” 

“Already thinking about staying over, huh?” Tori grinned, giving her what she hoped was a seductive wink. But to her dismay, Jade nearly doubled over from laughing and she frowned, having no idea what was going on. “Hey!” 

“I’m sorry,” she said after a moment, finally managing to bring herself back under control. “It’s just that… you’re really bad at winking,” she chuckled, wiping her eyes with a napkin. “But it’s kind of adorable in a really nerdy way.”

“Gee, thanks,” Tori huffed, but she couldn’t hide the smile creeping across her face. “So, how did you decide to become a mortician?” she asked, hoping the change of subject would help her regain her footing. 

“I’ve always been fascinated by death,” Jade answered. “I was never bothered by it the way a lot of people are. I was barely six when my grandfather died, the youngest one at the viewing but the only kid who went up to the coffin without hesitation. It was kind of weird to see him lying there, and I remember touching him and thinking about how weird his skin felt, but I knew that he wasn’t in there anymore and it fascinated me.”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “My mom took me to therapist after therapist because I wouldn’t shut up about death after that. They all said it was natural curiosity and she bought me a lot of books, but I don’t think she ever stopped being concerned at how okay with it I was.” 

“That’s fascinating,” Tori smiled, finding the story kind of endearing in a really morbid way. 

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “So when I graduated high school and was looking for a career, I wound up getting a job doing make-up at a local funeral home. I really liked everything about it and the owner offered to sell me the business for really cheap if I went to school and graduated. He was looking to retire anyway, but he waited a little longer because he wanted to leave it in the hands of someone he knew he could trust,” she said, her smile turning soft. 

The pride in her voice made Tori’s smile widen and, without thinking, she reached out and laid her hand over Jade’s, thumb stroking across the back as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “That’s really sweet.” 

“It’s not the only thing I do, though,” Jade smirked. “Have you ever heard of Tawny Walker-Black?” 

“The famous writer? Of course I have,” Tori replied, regarding her curiously. “Why?” 

Jade chuckled and pointed at herself. “A pseudonym,” she winked. “I always wanted to be a writer. I wrote and produced a ton of short films in high school and I still dabble now, but I ended up deciding that I wanted a quieter life. Writing under a penname felt like the solution and it’s treated me pretty well.” 

Tori let out a low whistle, still hyper aware of her hand on Jade’s as she regarded her with new interest. “Your last book gave me nightmares for a week!” 

“Thanks for the flattery,” Jade smirked, laughing when Tori finally moved her hand to swat her shoulder. “Ow, damn, Vega, you’re stronger than you look,” she said, unable to stop laughing. 

“You’re kind of insufferable,” Tori grumbled, but she couldn’t stop grinning as she ate the last bite of her sushi. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jade asked, rolling her eyes when Tori flushed again. “Get your mind out of the gutter, this is only the first date,” she teased, putting a hand on her knee. “I meant to get ice cream or something.” 

“Ice cream sounds good,” Tori agreed with a soft smile, utterly enthralled by the mysterious, beautiful woman she was having such a wonderful time with. 

And as Jade paid the bill and they left, she wondered if she was still going to hell for meeting someone while planning her grandmother’s funeral. 

But, even though she’d hardly known her grandmother in life, Tori had a sneaking suspicion that she would have been okay with it. 

(That they spent nearly half an hour making out in front of the funeral home her body was resting inside, she wasn’t so sure about. But she had such a good time that she couldn’t bring herself to care until long after Jade had exited the car, hair mussed and make-up a mess.) 

As she drifted off to sleep that night, she couldn’t help but think that she might even brave staying at the funeral home one night, and that was when she knew she had it bad. 

(She was 99% certain that she was _absolutely_ going to hell when she couldn’t keep her eyes off Jade during the service, though. Love of her life or not, there was no way she was ever going to live that down, and Jade certainly would never let her forget it.)

**Author's Note:**

> So, credit for this 'prompt' goes to the following post. I saw it, laughed, and then went, _wait a minute_ about the last one. A couple of months later, that changed to _challenge accepted_ and now, here we are. Please let me know what you thought!


End file.
